young and unjustifiably cynical ™

golden rule #1: thou shalt love all things japanese and worship it's culture.

A photography exhibition by 24 young budding photographers on a trip to Japan, konnichiWHOA! will wow you with 24 takes of the extraordinary country. Shot with ranging mediums in locations from Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto to Mt Fuji, the 2-week exhibition plan to reveal Japan through hopeful and credulous eyes. Expect to be left refreshed, amazed and walking out saying "konnichiWHOA!"

Lead and Curated by Chow Chee Yong of 30th February Fame

The exhibition is from 18th July to the 1st of August at 11B Old School, #B2-09, Mount Sophia.

feels good to be back in school somehow but the silence seemed so loud.
skipped the afternoon lecture because i had to rush my IHT project, totally screwd man
she didnt get back to me so i texted her to confirm the timing. just as i had expected, the meetup was cancelled
she's busy ( busy with hair extensions? LOL)
&& i thought "the seriousness of this matter requires a face to face confrontation"
seems like extentsions until one's cleavage is a muchmuchmuch more serious matter *shudders*
met lay to watch movies, we couldnt decide at first cos he had to rush back to camp
plus he thought i 'didnt wanna meet him' so when i arrived at tampines mall he was still at home :/
halfway along i got kinda pmsy *roarrs* but i swear i was a good girl and didnt throw temper haha
watched 10 promises to my dog; some people got too emotional about it and started weeping
met ryan and diane dearie for dinner at TCC
apparently miss ryan chew was feeling generous and decided dinner was on him
i wish for more of such dinner outings ((:
steph called; i think policemen nowadays are too free until they get paid to be on the phone ;D
feeling rather nausea ever since i got home;
then again, how not to when ive been going for 36hours surviving on redbull
yaaay, no sleep
suxxorz.

nagnagnagnagnagnagnagnagnagnag.
fuck luh. cheebye.
how the fuck do you want me to tell you she got pregnant
and it wasnt your baby
when ultimately you're still gonna leave her
if i tell you, i'll risk losing my friendship with her
fuck you, im stressed enough.
with family, with life, with school
these 2 months ive always been helping you when you had problems with her
why is your world always filled with so much anger
you think by yelling it'll change things?
i think, you dont care for me.

Sometimes we lie because it's too
painful to tell the truth.Sometimes we
lie because we think it's the truth.
Sometimes we lie because it is faster
to do so.Sometimes we lie because
you need to get out of something.
Sometimes we lie because life can't
wait.Sometimes we lie because pain
is not an option.Sometimes we lie
because there is nothing better to do.
Sometimes we lie because we need to
turn attention away from ourselves.
Sometimes we lie because we don't
know what else to do.Sometimes we
lie because we don't want to tell children
there isn't a Santa Clause. Sometimes
we lie because it gives us a laugh.
Sometimes we lie because sarcasm
gives emphasis.Sometimes we lie because
we need to prove a point.Sometimes we
lie because everyone needs a break once
in a while.Sometimes we lie because an
alibi is needed.Sometimes we lie because
a surprise is being planned.Sometimes we
lie because we could lose money.Sometimes
we lie because we want to keep a friend.
Sometimes we lie because we are instructed
to.Sometimes we lie because money is offered.
Sometimes we lie because revenge is sweet.
Sometimes we lie because we would like to
hurt someone emotionally.Sometimes we lie
because agreeing is easier than debating.
Sometimes we lie because we are scared.
and rarely......we tell the truth.

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:29 AM):

looks like you're not sorry abt it. since you call me a unreasonable bitch, well, i'm just going to be one to you.

good bye

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:29 AM):

i didn;t call u but u come and look for me

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:30 AM):

oh, and one more thing, since i am unreasonable, i guess what you can expect to be in my project group for 3 subjects

* you can expect what

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:31 AM):

you called me one, in your blog.

and you well, admitted it

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:31 AM):

did u want me to hide it?

gee

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:31 AM):

and then you are not sorry for it

well, i thought i was able to forgive you since you seem really sorry abt it. but then, after all these conversation, i doubt so.

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:33 AM):

i see. well thats ur own perceptions

this one no one can do anything abt it

sorry abt that

and which part of "last 3 days" do u not understand?

hmm okays if u had expected me to be calm in that situation, maybe i need to go for anger management classes first

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:34 AM):

nonono, i am perfectly fine now. i'll take it as an unreasonable bitch .

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:34 AM):

good to hear that u're coping well

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:34 AM):

i'm sorry that i start this conversation with you thinking that i was not.

but yeah, i am, and i'm going to act like one infront of you

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:35 AM):

you like that?

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:35 AM):

u are beginning to bark like one, can u please do something about it?

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:36 AM):

before that i thought i was sorry too

but you keep BREATHING DOWN MY NECK

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:36 AM):

i'm too unreasonable to make myself stop iit

haha, too bad. handle it yourself.

this is your own life

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:37 AM):

im sorry

thunder : art, i miss you already! (T.T) says (3:37 AM):

right, i gg

bye

[bookending] Boytoys™ | My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke says (3:37 AM):

i dont have a muffle

WOW, THIS IS UNREASONABLE. DONT EVEN LET ME GET A MUFFLE. LOL

1) Men can’t help but check out other women. You can swear up and down that you weren’t checking out the hottie from across the bar, but it’s okay, we know you were. Women get it’s an innate, programmed in your DNA kind of thing, but know that it doesn’t mean we like it. It’s been said once and here it is again, when with your lady, try to keep staring to a minimum.

2) Men care what others think of them, and even dress up for others. Women may take three times longer than men to get ready to go out, but we know men can care almost just as much about their appearance. You want to appear cool, suave and confident, and if you have to keep up a facade so others think you’re the aforementioned, you will. We like that you care about your appearance, as long as we remain prettier than you, it’s a-okay.

3) Men are visual beings. Women understand that being visual beings explains why men like porn, strip clubs and sexy lingerie. Further, we know you’d think it’d be hot if we did a strip tease for you in private. But note, not all women are comfortable enough in their own skin to do a strip tease. Do one first, and maybe she’ll follow suit.

4) Men can’t take hints. Women’s hints, leads or codes don’t always register into men’s brains. Further, you don’t grasp our non-verbal cues or tones in our voices. Women get that if they want a favor or expect you to do something, we need to tell you straight out what it is we want. However, some women may still hope that their guy knows them well enough to take a hint, and also refuse to believe men are that dense. Don’t be afraid to subtly ask what it is that we want…it’s better than assuming as that could end badly.

5) Men take sports seriously. “It’s just a game…” are words we know not to utter to a sports fan. Women get that men are competitive and love to watch other men run (or dribble) with balls, slam into each other and pat each other on the butt. Some women will never understand the fascination fully, so don’t expect them to always join in the watching rituals.

6) Men don’t want to admit it, but they need women in their lives. Whether it’s their mothers, girlfriends/wives, work buddies, friends or friends with benefits; it’s simple, men need a woman in their life. Women can offer men sound advice on love, family and work that is usually unparalleled to the advice another man would give. To the table, women bring compassion and a positive, caring spin on situations. All that, and of course, men need women for sexual purposes.

7) Men are scared of the term forever. It’s as if the word “forever” meant the end of the world is near or something equally as tragic. “Forever” doesn’t have to be a scary term. According to Dictionary.com, it means “without ever ending”. Flip it so it’s a positive connotation and now imagine love for your mate, family members, sports team, or pet “without ever ending” or being able to wear your favorite (now ratty) t-shirt or kicks “without ever ending.” Not so bad now, eh?

8) Men are bad at remembering dates. The only exception to this is remembering sports’ opening day dates or the date Grand Theft Auto IV comes out. For women to keep reminding you of dates and tasks such as when your parents are going to be in town or that the plumber is expecting to be paid in cash upon completion of his project gets quite tiring. Consider using your cell phone’s calendar function as a way to keep track of dates and details. (Even older models have a calendar function, but if yours doesn’t then opt for a pocket planner.) Remembering your mom’s birthday, Father’s Day or your anniversary on your own will score you brownie points.

9) Men like to gossip just as much as women do. Gossip is typically known as a woman’s sport, but we know guys enjoy it too. Male magazines such as Maxim and FHM have a few pages dedicated to celebrity gossip. Who’s dating whom, who got breast enhancements and whose music video is scorching hot are all featured and tucked away in their “Entertainment” sections. Straying away from celebrity gossip, do I dare say “locker room talk”?! More boasting and gossiping happens in locker rooms and happy hours that it gives the ladies on The View a run for their money. Though gossip can lead to rumors, it also makes for good conversation and in some strange way, bonding.

10) Men sometimes lie because it’s easier than telling the truth. We know you tell little white lies to spare our feelings, which sometimes is alright because we don’t like our feelings hurt. However, we know there are times you fib because the truth would be a big sordid mess and you’d rather avoid it. Lying through omission is still lying. Telling the truth and nothing but the truth may be too hard and sometimes unnecessary, but use your better judgment and tell the complete truth more often than not

monday blues.
fucking chao cheebye.
stayed up till 5am rushing field trip report and cos i wanted to make it to school
however somewhere between 5-6am i k.o-ed and couldnt take it
2pm, was at a state of my breakfast and getting the printer to start up
when printer was done, microsoft informed me that my document could not be printed
"microsoft word does not recognise the newer version. would you like to check for updates now?"
started cursing like some mad bitch and had to delay leaving the house for almost another hour
cabbed down to meet my project group mates at the computer lab
turned out to be one hell of a humiliating incident
fucking unreasonable bitch
even crimminals are given a second chance
somewhere in between all that anger, i felt like breaking down
didnt want to make a wasted trip back home so i stayed in the library
8 plus, dexter and stephen came to school to pick me
on the way, didnt know where to go
plus i was feeling like crap, kept shooting dex on whatever he said
landed up at kallang macdonalds
bitched about things over nuggets and greentea
felt much better after ranting
stupid dex keep smoking non stop
drove to geylang cos they needed to drop by their head office
eyes almost popped out at the amount of sports cars by the road
many office-men standing around the cars smoking
omg, illegal business? & stephen laughed
"do you know our top guy earns 10k a month?"
i almost died i tell you, at first i refused to oogle at all the SLKs and Audi TTs but couldnt help asking
" o.o! what kinda business are you all dealing with"
" sell backside one"
what the fuck? rawrrr.
when i reached home, thought things would be better
then matt was online telling me about how his friend got into a fight 
was paralysed from waist down, and finally decided to take his own life in his own home
got so emotional and all, started crying uncontrollably
almost did something stupid cos it seemed like the only way to end all problems
sometimes, suicide is your only option

was scheduled to work at vivo last friday but i turned up late as usual. sales was bad and so i decided to play those toy capsule machines instead. uncle was very nice, he allowed me to pick the items which i want ( so means i didnt spend unncessary money!) anyhow, i blew like 30 bucks on them, hoho.

late afternoon, leo rang me up to ask if i was going down to phuture with the rest but for some reasons, i turned him down politely and said i was meeting a friend instead. had this butterfly feeling in my stomach which i tried to kill for the next 15 minutes or so. :/

jenny's friends couldnt make it for st james so we kinda changed plans and headed to MOS instead. met up with ahboy and marcus laogong. apparently ah boy got refused into the clubs because they didnt accept his police report for a lost IC ( he lost hie wallet at dblO on wednesday) and it didnt help that he was looking so underage. tried to negotiate with sam to let him in. silly boy, he almost produced marcus' IC as his own together with the police slip. obviously it made sense that the particulars would differ. luckily i took it away from him just before sam managed to do so. finished up my nuggets that jenny bought for me just before we headed in and guess who i saw, kevin kept staring in our direction but when i told jenny, she advised me to ignore him totally. at first i felt bad because i felt his eyes following us. i dont think he expected me to ignore him. he's useless to begin with anyway.

took some pics with jenny before heading up to 54, our residential fishing ground. not long after, these 2 guys came up to chat with us, one was kai and the other ben. they were not bad looking i must say, typical mixed bloods and omgg, major flirting session in progess i swear.  however i'd promised marcus to hang around until since he had to leave early. and so, both jenny and i left our "fishes" and headed to Smoove for awhile. both of us got a lychee martini each from the guys but we were still thirsty for more alcohol! headed back to 54 after that but kai and ben were nowhere to be seen. dancefloor was crappy, too many matured men with beer bellies and bald patches. i eventually got bored and gave up fishing for drinks. again we headed back down to Smoove.

this time round, i spotted an eye candy who looks like Shane Wee. he kept smiling across at my direction several times and when i finally did notice him, i took a second look and realise. this guy's totally out of my league. too 'hunkish' to be for real. as i was hanging around i spotted 2 angmohs who are dancing by the side of the cage with a bottle of Martell opened so i told jenny dearest " i think we can fish this one". after several minutes of eye contact, we both bagged ourselves some drinks and eventually finished up the last drop of Martell. kept telling jenny to move closer to the 'hunk' but she said she wanted to stay with one of the angmoh guys. i had no choice but to head to the dancefloor alone. and this was when everything started....

it took me some time to squeeze past mountains and rives of tekong boys who didnt smell very nice. i finally found a comfortable spot around the DJ deck but within one minute of dancing, i was being targeted by two slimey looking guys. one was a geek who was one head shorter than i am and the other some moh-peng faced chao bengster. :/ the nerd tried to place his arms around my hips and i shot him a "fuck off bitch" stare. got bored so i went out of the cage to look for jenny, made her enter it with me and notlong later i was dancing with this guy who;s just slightly taller than me. at first i was like " shit not another NS guy? but del arent u tired of fishing, okay lets just stand here" say like after 10 minutes of dancing i asked him how old he was. he used his fingers to indicated 22 so i was like "oh okays haha. uhmsthought u were some old man" he smiled and he said " haha what makes u think so" i just shrugged my shoulder and continued dancing. not long after i received an sms from jenny " del come up to 54. ive got a sucker" told him i was going up and expected to part with him at the dancefloor but he asked if i needed his company. brought him up to 54, jenny was with this Hk guy called daniel; he looks a little like Dr Love which isnt exactly a good thing but their tabled had opened up 5 bottles of Belvedre Vodka. Had some drinks, ch poured like almost half a glass so i poured back the same amount lol :/ Went back to smoove dancefloor until closing and he pulled me aside to ask for my number. Met jenny and her HK guy outside the club and they wanted to head to zion road for supper. ithought i was gonna part with ch cos he said he's gonna send a friend home who's been watiing for him and has been ps-ed by her friends. but jenny dear kept asking him to send me home and although i said 'no jenny! nooo~~' cos i didnt want it to seem like an obligation, he said he'll send me home.

initially thought we were cabbing but was surprised to find out he's driving. met his friend, wasnt the hot babe model type i'd expected her to be, she's slightly plump and short, however must say she was rather weird

her: "hi"
me: "hello, u are?"
her: *purses her lips* "merilyn"
me: "oooh okays hello, im del"
her: " i see...blahblahblah..OHHH so you two juuuusst got to know each other in the club?"
me: " ahhh yeah, (:"
her: "pfftss, isnt it like TIRING to grind in the clubs, i mean..."
me: oh, is it? *flashes a smile* im fine
her: "oh *purse lips again* so how are u gg home. if he's sending u i'll take the cab u know like seriously"
me: (thinks: er wtf what is she implying*) "oh uhms im not sure yet *flashes a smile*
                    (doubt she knew that ch would already be giving me a lift)
her: *partly rolls her eyes* "oh.k"
me: *looks elsewhere while waiting for ch to finish talking to his friend

as we were walking up to the carpark, it was a little obvious she was trying to keep up with his pace while walking. as we approached the car, she asked if i wanted to sit in front. dont suppose she was expecting me to say yes but i did anyway and i swear the expression on her face changed terribly. car ride was pretty quite however she kept popping her head in between, trying to talk to him. didnt know what kinda relationship they had so i just tried to ignore hearing whatever she said. midway, got roadblock and he had to take breatheanalyser, merilyn panicked and went like " oh nooo! how" x 100 times. i was worried he might fail it too but i just crossed me fingers. however my actions looked like i didnt care twohoots. turns out ch was alright, while sending his friend back to punggol i almost fell asleep but i tried hard to keep awake. something i probably didnt understand was why didnt he send me off first instead drove all the way up to punggol and coming back down to my area. jenny concluded that he didnt wanna drop me first. but ohwells.

went back to his house area for awhile cos he needed to use the gents, found out he lives at Maplewoods and this was probably why it explains he drives a Honda Civic. i dont know what hit me that night but when i knew him back then in the club, he didnt dress flashy or anything despite my findings that his family is probably well to do. back inside smoove, he was just the average guy and all, nothing like muscular tall and tanned etc, somehow just fatal attraction. by the time he dropped me off at my house it was already 7.30am in the morning. couldnt bear to leave him but i gave him a rather long hug cos i thought i would probably not see him again anyways. as we all know, what happens in the clubs stays in the club.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Pasting chatlotgs would be the last thing i would wanna do at this pont of time but it was something i had to do. yesterday on BC, partner told me to take my medicine and i told him " what medicine?! give me vodka shots and i'll be fine luh!". he said " later u tell me about that guy again" and i replied " pls uh si mi guy dont have loh that one can buang one. nxt time must date short guys so they'll 'look up' to me bettr than dating tall guys, damn cheebye one...cheehong with a capital C"

Holy cow, turns out he was stalking BC and he msned me this:

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

so whois the cheebye hongster u toking abt?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. just sent you a nudge.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

wad tall guy wad cheehong with captal c?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

may i ask who is it?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. just sent you a nudge.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

why>?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

bc can talk here cant reply?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

im not assuming now, im asking u who r u referring to

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. just sent you a nudge.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

haha is ok if u dont wanna ans, but i appreciate it wen u said u close issue, and stop talkig behind ppl back

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

and i wonder who in club give guys her no.

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

huh? hahha.

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

ARE YOU GUILTY?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

hahaha

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

im not.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

dats why i didn assume

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

and i ask u

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

who u rfer to

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

i wonder who said close issue, den making a big hoo haa now

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

well its up to u

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

ur life aniwae

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

ohh.. okayyy. i  was refering to some guy.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

oh SOME guy?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

who sia

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

then why are u worried?

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

i wasnt mentioning u.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

hahaa im not

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

WHY YOU WORRY?

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

and srsly i dont care

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

dont talk to me if you dont care.

[what, i care?] Psydoll ™ |  i cant waste time so give it a moment, i realize nothing's broken. says:

if you dont care then you dont ask so much.

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

haha

Chap 10 of NIKZ™,  Dont promise what you can't do.       My LMC darlings, i miss u people. says:

alright, thts cool w me

it's like he's finally shown hs true colours, has no damn bit of respect for me and wait untili have time and i'll post up the juicy bits about how he hong girls

" oh so you're attached? it's time to get back into the queue then. wonder hw many guys are after you...anyway be careful who you add ( in WG) not all are nice guys...so how man despos have you added?"

when i told him i was sorry, the cookie and all, he played hard to get acted like he was queen of the fucking universe. now that im ignoring him, he comes for attention. gee. he keeps repeating he's not assuming but its clearly the case that he's living in self denial. if he claims he doesnt assume why does ht think that 'cheehong tall guy with capital C' is him? " nt assuming im just asking.." darling its my life, why do you care?

was out with sabb babe and harry in town today, we bumped into marvin and he told us he ran into rach and jane earlier on. i called jane and asked about her location, she told me they were walking around town, not confirmed if they're going to far east. but we bumped into them at Level One; they tried to hide by looking elsewhere. Jane then added that they've just reached. deep down, i knew they lied but didnt know why, was abit upset but we still hung around to chat. I asked if she still talks to nic and she told me yeah, he told her suddenly i keep appearing at dblo. i was like thinking " huh, dblo his father own one is it. just a waiter there why bother?" halfway through, sabb suddenly 'exposed' their white lie and they just said ' emo mahh' i dontknow why im affected but i did get affected. i mean, ive never actually lied to someone about my whereabouts and getting caught after that. it's like major omgwtfbbq. 

we splited ways as sab neeeded to meet her god sister. we agreed to keep in contact, however when i called them both for like the longest time ever, no one answered so we 3 went to PS to wait for ernest and his brother. had sushi and starbucks, and this Cleo journalist approached the both of us and asked if we used moisturiser. i think its supposed to appear in the cleo mag or something but it was terribly unglam i swear! ive been out in school since early morning and it was almost 10 by then already. MEHHS!!

Dear You,
I hate walking past you and you not saying a word to me.  I hate hearing my phone ring and seeing it's not your number in the caller id.  I hate knowing you're online, but you won't talk to me. I hate knowing I can't count on you to be there for me anymore. I hate how we act like we never really knew each other. I hate that you've let go, and I'm still the one struggling to hold on to you.  I hate knowing you don't miss me at all. But I guess it's just a matter of time before I realize, I don't mean anything to you and I never really did.

people always ask - do you still
like him? and honestly, i dont know.
but theres something about him
that i just cant let go.

Guess a big part of growing up is dealing with regret.
Swallowing your pride.
There are some things in life you can't go back and change, no matter how much you want to.
I think that day I was finally forced to grow up,
to leave the past behind, for one final time.

The tragedy is not that things are broken. The tragedy is that they are not mended again

People are going to want you, need you, exceed you, take you,
beat you, love you, hate you, play you,
rate you, save you, and break you.... but that's what makes you.

sometimes when one person is missing,
the whole world seems depopulated.

You can't even cry, can you?  Something has been taken away from you.  You're numb.  And you know what?  I think you're grateful for it.  No wonder you're afraid of ending up alone.  Because the day you are, you're going to have to look inside yourself, and see what i've known for a long time.  There's nothing there. 

Screaming and saying fuck alot doesn't really get your point across.
Sometimes silence is the most violent option to choose.

i'm going to be completely honest and tell you, i'm broken. but you know what? even though i'm broken right now, i'm going to be fine. i'm not going to lose any more sleep over you, neither am i going to skipp school because of you. i'm not going to waste any more tears over an asshole like you. and i'm not going to go running back to you, when you realize what a huge mistake you made. and trust me, you will realize that.

We spend our whole lives telling ourselves everything happens for a reason
When in reality, it’s just that we give reason for everything that happens

 ♥ Letting go does not mean giving up but accepting that there are things that cannot be. ♥

All these lies -- these lies we're all telling to protect each other -- they're not going to solve anything. They're just mind games. And nobody wins.

It’s just that it’s hard to lose something no matter how much or little it meant at the time

Don’t come crying to me when people treat you the way you treated them. There was a part of me for the longest time that just couldn’t accept that you were gone, I guess I convinced myself we were invincible, I failed to see the signs and even when they were right in front of me, I couldn’t bring myself to believe my eyes.

I've finally realized the people that you love who don't love you back are just another lesson in life ..
it's like God is teaching us that
there can be so much better than
what we thought was the best

I don't know why we all hang on to
something we know were better off
letting go. It's like were scared to lose
what we don't even really have.
Some of us say we'd rather have
that something then absolutely
nothing, but the truth is,
"To have it halfway is harder
than not having it at all."

i guess everyone has their reasons
for keeping people away, an instinct
to protect yourself from getting hurt.
it's part of human nature

Sometimes I wonder what I'd say to you if you suddenly walked back into my life again. I wonder what I'd say to you after all this time. After i broke your heart and you left. But most of all, I wonder what you'd say to me.